Borderlands 2 Captain Scarlett and her Pirate's Booty DLCby Brent Roberts
Why heloooooooooooooo gamers! I, your humble dubstep beatboxing romeo robot, Claptrap have broadcasted this message from Pandora directly to XboxAddict on the latest DLC for Borderlands 2 called Pirate's Booty! I was never that big into sailing, or getting wet, or even sewing, but one thing that always got my hard drive working was a fine female pirate that wears next to nothing and has a lot of junk in her trunk! I've always felt I'd make a great pirate, I have one eye, I can say AAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH, and instead of a parrot on my shoulder I just taped on a dead Rakk. Along the way I'm shhhhhhuuuuurrrrreeeee we will meet some very friendly people, and visit some distant lands of paradise, and by friendly people I mean people who are a horrible shot, and by distant lands of paradise I mean a different run down part of Pandora, but it's new to you so HA HA! So here we go minion, stick on my heels (if I had any) and I'll lead you to the Promised Land and tell you why this is some of the best booty you'll ever get!
Now minion, I, your master and most awesomest robot pirate ever, will bestow upon you the secret behind the DLC! Shhhhhhhhh... Remember minion you can't tell ANYONE, especially those unappreciative jerks at Hyperion! If you do spill the beans, I'm making you walk the plank and then you'll be shark food for imaginary sharks! AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! The secret to great DLC is giving you a bigger load, of content, than even Moxxi could handle and keeping it cheaper than Moxxi's slots (p.s. don't tell Moxxi I said that). Shiver me timbers minion, there is a colossal amount of content that ranges from: new lands to discover, new booty to plunder, new characters to rob... woops I meant befriend, and even a new RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE! Sorry, Scooter's been giving me some of his reading material. Anyways this new, RIIIIIII... sorry, ride makes you feel like you're in that one space movie from years ago, you know, that one with the big lizard guy, I think it's called The Remodel?... no... The Return?... no... Wait I got it! The RE-RE-RE-RE release of The Revamp of the Bedeye. Sorry for that minion, now back to the ride. It glides over the terrain like a cloud, and enemies will only feel like a slight bump to you; however the downside is that it's harder to handle than Moxxi when she's in a good mood. You get a blend in terms of customization with your weapon choice, but you also get a harpoon weapon that can be soooooooooooooooo much fun!
Now don't go thinking of running off from me minion, there's still much I have to tell you! Did you know that there is actually a place on Pandora called Oasis? Did you also know that there is a place on Pandora of untouched beauty and that it has crystal blue water, beautiful trees, and lush greenery? Oasis isn't it. Nope, instead Oasis is a dried up dust bucket run by some wacked out guy named Shade who starred in the movie "Terrified and Hatred in Reno". Through here minion you will start your journey to lands like Wurmwwater, Hayter's Folley, Magnus Lighthouse, and The Rust Yards. While you scurvy your way through these areas you'll not only see why some of the lands of Pandora never make the travel promo footage, but you will come across other hotties like Captain Scarlett, vicious cut throat wanna be pirates, and you will also face some incredibly tough new enemies that provide new crystals which you can spend on some amazing new gear! Like all pirates minion, you will be rewarded with treasure that other sea dogs could only dream about! Yes minion what DLC would be complete without more loot than Moxxi could fit in her corset! There are even weapons that I, your master pirate robot god, don't even know about, but I do know that they are sooooooo awesome! This loot comes from finishing quests, discovering treasure chests, and good old' fashioned killing! AAAARRRRRRRRRGGGHHHHHH!
Even though you get more content than fit on a pirate's ship, you also get something rarely found now-a-days, a fair deal. Priced at 800 MS points you almost feel like you're robbing Gearbox and stealing their booty! There is another way though minion that you can get this DLC and the following three as well and that's to get your hands on another treasure, the Borderlands 2 Season Pass! While it may cost more at the time minion, its worth far more in the long run as you get all four DLC packs for the price of three! See I told you being a pirate can be fun and profitable, and if you combine all the content that comes in this package it becomes an absolute steal! So now my new pirate minion matey, go forth from me and sink deep into Captain Scarlett and her Pirate's Booty!