STAFF REVIEW of Poker Night 2 (Xbox 360 Arcade)

Friday, May 3, 2013.
by Brent Roberts

Poker Night 2 Box art Well helloooooooooooooooo gamers! It's your favorite cyber ninja, secret spy, international ladies’ man, Claptrap here to tell you about this new Xbox Live Arcade game from Telltale games called Poker Night 2! Apparently they needed some real star power to help sell this game which is why they called me! It only fits right? I mean I'm the one with a Spike VGA award for best character, so naturally my agent has been busy with so many offers for appearances and tire signings that now it's time to kick back, relax, and win a @#$% load of money! Now minion, in case you didn't know, Poker Night 2 is a sequel to the original Poker Night, hence the "2" part, but now instead of taunting virtual characters till they wallow in their own tears of fear and failure, you can actually win items for Borderlands 2 as well as items for your avatar! There's so much more to talk about minion, so for that, let’s kick this review off with.... another paragraph! AH HA!

Welcome minion to the Inventory! It's here where we find the most sadistic, confusing, and hilarious poker game ever to be found..... well, ever I guess. The field for this game is more hardcore than Moxxi and consists of this quiet, arrogant lone hero type guy named Ash Williams. Really? A guy named "Ash" gets his own video game called The Evil Dead? Seriously, were all the Christies taken? Any who, there's another guy named Brock Samson, who is built like a house but is dumb as a rock. He comes from a video game called The Venture Brothers, but I personally think that he holds a secret deep down inside that only booze can drag out of him! Then after what you call "normal" people, we have a giant dog wearing a suit named Sam who has this weird companion named Max who is mentally unbalanced, hungry, and armed to the teeth, all eight of them. This pair apparently stem from a series of games called.... wait for it... Sam and Max! These are going to be your opponents at the table minion and while there's nothing you can do about it, we've called in a special dealer just for you! May I present the one.... the only... GLaDOS! Now this is what I'm talking about! A robot fascinated by death and dismemberment, I'm all in, all in love! Psssstttt.... Don't tell Moxxi that. Speaking of Moxxi, we couldn't have a poker game without a bunch of intoxicating alcohol right? And guess who was looking for a group tip? Why the top heavy Moxxi of course! That’s right minion, all you need to do is flash a little cash and she'll get right to work serving you and all your friends! The real beauty here minion is that the dialogue between characters is so well written, it's only a matter of time before we win a Pulitzer Prize for our witty banter!

This time around minion we'll be playing two different styles of poker. First style on the table is No Limit Texas Hold'em. If you don't know your way around the felt its cool, here's a crash course. You start with two cards in your hand called hole cards. A round of betting starts, then three cards are dealt face up which is called the flop, and then another round of betting happens. After that a fourth card called the Turn is dealt and another round of betting happens. Finally the last card called The River is dealt and this is where dreams can turn into horrific nightmares that haunt generations of your kin! All you have to do is make the best possible five card hand and hope that it beats your opponents, and if it does, you win fame, glory, and riches for a lifetime, or until the next tournament starts. If you lose though, your friends will laugh and point at you, women will shun you and your family will probably disown you due to shame. There's another mode of poker though called Omaha which is almost identical to Texas Hold'em except you get four starting cards instead of just two. Like the old saying goes, double your pleasure, double your fun!

Now we couldn't just pile all these great characters together, drown them in booze, tears, and laughter and not expect to win anything right? Well since we're on the Xbox Live Arcade, there are some amazing prizes to win such as your very own Aperture Test Chamber or even Bloodwing from Borderlands 2! While having a massive bird for your avatar pet is nice, it's nothing compared to the gear you can win for Borderlands 2! We're talking fun loving, cross dressing excitement here! Zero apparently is very fond of Portal hence the reason he's dressed all cosplay like in a nice Portal helmet complete with a scary red eye thingy! There are even more prizes to win minion! Not only is all this content up for grabs, but each of us has a special reward you can win by first completing your challenges and then winning the tournament! Ash is offering up the Necronomicon which is just a dirty old book, but I am offering up my Spike VGA award! With all these new amazing super friends and jaw dropping prizes minion you'll quickly forget about your old friends who are less amazing than we are and for that reason we decided to have no multiplayer support what so ever!

So there you have it minion! Think you have the stones to throw stacks of money around and gamble your way to glory and greatness with the likes of all of us? Then throw down your 800 MS points and ante up! Fair warning though, we won't take it easy on you just because you bought our games and worship us silently in your room so be ready for the fight of your life! Who knows what will happen minion, but like Moxxi said to me last night, if you want to win sugar, you have to go all in. Welcome minion to Poker Night 2 on the Xbox Live Arcade! Heyooooo! Oh Steve says hi too.

Please work in multiplayer support with avatar importing.

Overall: 8.0 / 10
Gameplay: 8.0 / 10
Visuals: 8.0 / 10
Sound: 8.0 / 10


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