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Chr0nik
08-01-2002, 10:11 AM
Came across this stupid website, thought I'd share the lameness with everyone.

Xbox Top 10 Rumors

10) Controller design inspired by Hitler’s moustache
Yup. Just looking at the suggested group of hypo-nasal hairs under a weak magnifying glass is evidence enough. If only Adolf had shaved more often...

9) Code named “MS Gaming Suite”
It fits Microsoft to a tea. No mess. No muss. No fuss. Try getting some third party support with that name.

8) X-Jewel not as tasty as first reported
It actually tastes kind of bitter. Here I am thinking “Hey, if I plop down a whackload of cash I can get some free candy!”. Gone are my dreams of suckling the night away. Pervert.

7) All the other letters were picked
What’s more fun than an Xbox? Why... a Zbox of course!

6) Official partners with Stalin, Satan, and Hanson
Mmm, bop! Microsoft triple teams the gaming market with three of the worlds most hated/feared/execrated/disliked people. They realize that things change than people will soon realize that Stalin’s parents treated him badly, Satan’s just plain misunderstood, and Hanson has converted to a more “grungy/alterative” muzak style.

5) Free inflatable Bill with two UPC codes and $5.00 S&H
Have fun with your own personal rich guy. Good for stuff like... um... well... you can throw pies at it and you can use it for boxing practice. Use your imagination... no, wait, don’t. You pervert.

4) It’s Fun
Could it possibly be that at one time Microsoft said that the Xbox would be fun? Revolutionary? - sure! Powerful? - why not? A work of art? - more than likely. Just plain fun? - nope.

3) One in 5 Xboxes includes $1000
You can’t win unless you play. Since it’s estimated that Microsoft won’t make a profit until fiscal 2004, they might as well give some cash to the happy people.

2) One in 3 Xboxes includes the black plague
Give the gift that keeps on giving. What says “I think you’re swell!” then death from a rare strand of virulent smallpox. Remember: there’s a 1:15 chance you’ll get both the money and a painful extinction.

1) Xbox is made of people
Kind of like soylent green, except with video games. The heatsinks/fans are made of fingernails, the DVD lenses are made of retinas, and the hard drives are made of... well... you know. Pervert

cityson
08-01-2002, 10:18 AM
Uh huh? Very funny.... :rolleyes:

Snapple
08-01-2002, 10:49 AM
:mad:


that just ****ed me off

they arent partners with hanson:rolleyes: but if they are:eek: :confused:

and about that better name i should go over there and beat the **** out of that ass hole:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

symposiumx
08-01-2002, 03:01 PM
Originally posted by xboxfan38
:mad:


that just ****ed me off

they arent partners with hanson:rolleyes: but if they are:eek: :confused:

and about that better name i should go over there and beat the **** out of that ass hole:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

that top 10 wasnt even humorous. I hope that guy doesn't plan on going into writing for a "humor and wit" website!

POD13259
08-01-2002, 03:09 PM
That is just wrong.

JJaX
08-01-2002, 04:05 PM
Do people actually write this S4it and think its funny? Im all pi55ed off now and im gonna go kick some little kid off his big wheel.

You know this was written by some 14 year old POS2 fanboy

symposiumx
08-01-2002, 04:20 PM
Originally posted by JJaX
Do people actually write this S4it and think its funny? Im all pi55ed off now and im gonna go kick some little kid off his big wheel.

You know this was written by some 14 year old POS2 fanboy

LOL

I wish I had a big wheel....ok..heres the deal...

YOU smack him...I'll take the bigwheel WOO~HOO!!

Keltiks
08-01-2002, 04:58 PM
I read the whole thing I don't don't feel any different. After reading one or two rumors I began to picture the guy who wrote this and started laughing. The only thing that article could have possibly done to me is make me dumber.

ShannonX
08-01-2002, 05:00 PM
next time, just share the link and spare us the torture... if you want to share a bit, just take a quote, dont quote the entire article.


edit: back open for now