teh im in love with this girl and i dont know what to do thread

Yea im going to bring it down to a serious level for once. I met this girl during the just finished school year. I've known her for like 4-5 months now or so and literally since the moment I knew her I was in love with her. It's starting to get teh ghey now that it's summer and all I do 24/7 is think of her. I've done all the player things like buy her roses randomly show up and give her stuff...like she's invited me to her house a few times and I even took her to the Pirates/ Orioles game on Monday cause she loves the Orioles (and I went through hell to get those tickets). She seemed to have a really good time and told me she did and that we should do it again sometime..but shes constantly busy and I can never consistently see her...it's all like once or twice a week I see her for short periods of time. I'm pretty sure she knows I like her and what not but she never told me that she knew. Some of my friends are convinced she has the hots for me but sometimes friends exaggerate. Like she hugged me after the game and like she paused for 10 seconds ..my sis was like you should of busted out the kiss..but I'm a puss. Like I get so nervous around her and cant be myself. Have any tips for me the more experienced guys...like I'm not trying to "nail her" or whatever ... I just want to be with her... She's just a little under a year older then me and absolutely gorgeous with a brilliant mind.

Start acting like you don't like her. It's stupid but sadly it works.

Or, if you want to be genuine about this, tell her you want to see her more. If she doesn't agree to spend more time together, just move on. I know it's easier said than done but obsessing for months (or in the cases of some people I've known, years) over a chick you can't have is a waste of time and not to mention really pathetic.

Also, if she denies you, and you walk away from the relationship (totally, no talking on the phone), she'll probably come to you. Either way you'll have a moneky off of your back.

thanks for the advice... I already have said I wanted to see her more..and she agreed to a little movie night with me on Monday...so now I guess I need to execute that. IE find a time thats good for her and all

Just remember dude, and trust me on this because I have experience....It does come to an end. I know what you're going through, exactly, to tell you the truth. While it's happening you think it'll never end but trust me, it does, either one way or the other. You either get over her, or you make a move and you get what you want. It looks like you've gotten off to a good start, so just don't worry about it.

Some lessons can't be taught. We all have to be stupid before we can learn. I just hate to see young guys enslaved to a devotion that they know is everlasting and true love, even if it isn't reciprocated.

Whatever you do, don't be an ass, be nice to her. Just don't be someone you're not, it'll just hurt you in the end.

Tell her that you like her, you get the feeling she likes you, and that you would like to take the relationship a step further. That way there are no mistaking your intentions, you'll know how she feels about you right away, and whatever the outcome is, you can deal with it then...just don't cry. :D

To sum up, basically what Studio Alex said in his second paragraph, whith my own style.

This, brought to you by the department of redundency department.

Hey if she really likes you then she wont dump you when she finds out your really in love with her. I've never had a girlfriend but take my advice. It doesn't have to end. If it does then she probally never wanted to go that deep into the relationship anyways. She might get out of it if you make a quick move to show her that you really love her. Or if you feel like the time is right and that she wont back out then go ahead make a quick move. Just remember it has to be the right moment or you have to feel that she has been willing to give it a deep relationship all along and that she really likes you or the relationship is going to die. Take it slow. Convince her you love her. Once shes convinced everythings ok. You won't have to be worried once shes convinced. If she dumps you. She never wanted a serious relationship. Or you could find ways to make her want to see you more. If she comes to see you every 5 minutes then you've sparred a lot of time and she loves you. Just remember if you do that it might damage, ruin, or kill the relationship. Don't use that if you think it could be a risk of killing the relationship. Use it sparringly if you do decide to use it and that it could have the risk of killing the relationship. But you want to know the one thing that could convince her. Just be yourself.

Communicate. Tell her how you feel. It's terrifying to do but it will let you know where you stand and where she stands. You can do it. If you have strong feelings for her then handle your business!!!

You know what I'd do?.......I'd.....

http://www.andrew.cmu.edu/user/btn/hitit/id-hit-it.jpg

plain and simple: just talk to her. You'll feel awkward as hell, but when its all said and done: you stood up for something important. And maybe someday you'll be happy with her.

I can not stress honesty....it is the best policy in any relationship wether it be friendship or a romantic one.

also whatever you do, dont tell her you love her. Let her say it first, otherwise you could scare her away.

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Originally Posted by Douchesforfun

also whatever you do, dont tell her you love her.

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True (well, not off the bat anyways). It's good not to show all your cards at first, let things develop, don't try and force them or you will scare her off. Relationships aren't about power or "hand" (a Seinfeld reference). It's not about who has the upper hand, it's about growing together. Like most have said...be yourself, if she doesn't like you, then don't waste your time. :cheers:

thanks guys ... I'll keep all this in mind... So seems like what I should do is really just play it out conservatively and just keep talking to her and building up my knowledge of her... Maybe just keep doing the little things will count... I have to grow up though..I can't be so nervous .. I just have to be my goofy self...but be serious and respectful too. Anymore advice would be appreciated.

well honestly it depends on how old u are and she is. but just play it cool and if she really likes u you'll find out.

well she's 18 and im 17. haha 17 what is love to me... what can you really describe as the correct age to love..like what makes it right to be in love with someone else.. i know what im feeling

I say before doing anything hasty, you should evaluate your feelings. You first need to know if you love her. Don't confuse infatuation with love. If you're infatuated with her then you believe that she's perfect and overlook glaring glaws. In that state the relationship can suffer once the infatuation wears off. If you love her then you accept her flaws and don't overlook them. As for asking her out, everyone here pretty much said what needs to be said except for laughs :). Also remember to analyze what you can do for her instead of what she can do for you. Love never looks for personal gain but it humbles itself to others.

very nicely put ... well she's done some pretty irresponsible things in the past and ive overlooked them ..and they are the types of things that grind on my nerves with anyone else...so i think im safe there. I maybe just a little taken by the infatuation..like i know her..and i consider her perfect..but there's obviously some things that she may be holding back..obviously since i consider her perfect ..

WTF I had something to say, I said it then edited my poste because something was wrong. . I think Im drunk. Oh well wheres that cyanide pill? :cool:

Well of course we all say someone is perfect for us. :) If you notice things that get on your nerves than you're more willing to work them out if you love her. If indeed infatuated you may just ignore it or resolve everything by just hiding it behind emotions and affection. Like others have said you have to communicate. Let her know how you feel about her is a start. Once in a relationship you can tell her what bothers you. It would feel natural and she should understand. However if it's something that doesn't really harm the relationship than you can accept it. If you love her and she loves you then it would be quite easier to work around any problems with each other.

I had a very similiar relationship with a girl. I was very good friends with her but she didn't want to date because college is right around the corner. So basically one night I just told her I wasn't going to talk to her anymore because it sucked so bad knowing that we could have something and us just letting it slip by. Sure enough a little over a week later I get a call from her... and now things are great kinda. We hang out almost every night.

BTW- She's the girl in the member's pics threads.

My advice is to let her know how you feel and if she feels differently just say that you don't want to be friends and that won't work because it'll be a constant reminder of how you could have something great. I had to ignore some pretty tough text messages and stuff, but it worked out for me. The way I looked at it; you'll either get the girl, or get over the girl. It's the ballsy thing to do.

Acting like you don't like a girl works to attract them to you, but this girl, from what you've said, OBVIOUSLY LIKES YOU!!!!! Step up to the plate. If you wait to long to seal the deal she'll move on. Kiss her.

And yes, I only read the original post and the beginning of the second one before I posted.

lol @ champ...

Anyways sounds like everyone else said what needed to be said. So good luck with that.

As for the pathetic (someone mentioned something about pathetic stuff) goes... I win .... try crush/infatuation/whatever for a girl for close to 2 years, all the while she's your friends gf.... eeek

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Originally Posted by Rhiannon

I can not stress honesty....it is the best policy in any relationship wether it be friendship or a romantic one.

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grown up woman are different than girls. Grown up woman are sane. Did you not see the video?!

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Originally Posted by TheCovenant-XBA

grown up woman are different than girls. Grown up woman are sane. Did you not see the video?!

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true we are damn near a different species all together...but still, honesty is my advice. She will respect you if you are honest even if she denies you, she will respect the fact that you have not lied. Unless of course she is a shameless hussy or only interested in material possesions..and if thats the case RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Originally Posted by Rhiannon

Unless of course she is a shameless hussy or only interested in material possesions..and if thats the case RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Hey Rhiannon...leave my wife out of this!!! :D

oh, and btw wolf...what she said...do that, k.

stop being dumb. she likes you alot but has a life,leave it at that go out once or twice a week and enjoy it . YOu sound like your on the verge of becomeing nurotic about it and girls usealy dont dig on crazy's . so i say cool it and enjoy the time you get.

Well, wolfboy did you hit it?


Nah I'm kidding. What happened?

well I kinda had a hectic weekend...doing the cedar point thing with a buddy and what not..tomorrow though I have something planned for her which I know she's going to like... really it's today..it's 3 am ..and im still up so yea... thanks for caring.

Okay so what happened?

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Originally Posted by mattgame-XBA

Okay so what happened?

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I believe he may be executing his plan. Check back around 11. :cool:

well without going into specifics we just set up a whole bunch of things to do with each other ..just the 2 of us ..during the summer.. so yea im on my way somewhat ...

Hmmm. don't sound too sure there Wolf. Anyway, alot has been said, mostly very accurate, I would have to subscribe to 2 main things that were mentioned...

Honesty & being yourself.

At 17, no offence, it's hard to just walk away, and sometimes feelings aren't mutual, but if it comes to that for gods sake don't be an a**. I know it sounds odd, but sometimes great friendships come from would be romance. Yes, men and women can be friends despite what you've heard. :)

There are 2 women, at the time "Girls" that are now a very special part of my life, both were romances that just didn't seem to fit just right, but we were always close. My wife knows them, and there NOW husbands...LOL, and we still hang regularly for movies and diner.

I know it's alot to digest at 17, but again, be true to yourself, don't be taken advantage of, and it will all be just fine.

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Originally Posted by Tony-XBA

There are 2 women, at the time "Girls" that are now a very special part of my life, both were romances that just didn't seem to fit just right, but we were always close. My wife knows them, and there NOW husbands...LOL, and we still hang regularly for movies and diner.

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Oh, c'mon Tony, you still want them, you know it. I go along with the When Harry Met Sally philosophy.

LOL, now XBA is giving love advice!

Here's my two cents...Be yourself, if it was meant to be you'll be with her, be nice to her and give her space. But, most important tell her how you feel, otherwise you'll always wonder, and always ask yourself.."Did she ever feel the same way?" And then you never know...she might feel the same way about you (life is funny that way). If you don't jump, you never know. But you have to jump.

Also, timing, maybe right now, is not the right time to be with her. Then one day when you least expect it, you'll bump into her at a 7-Eleven.